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‘Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen’ is bigger, not better

Amid a blurred frenzy of helicopter gunships, airborne cars, cluster bombs, barked military orders, missiles, scattered brick and mortar, tanks, frantic shouting, the wanton destruction of ancient landmarks, that patriotic American music, and giant robots auditioning for the WWE, somewhere in the Egyptian desert, balding, overweight 50-something suburban dad Ron Witwicky runs for his life.

“I don’t know what’s going on!” he gasps.

Don’t worry, man, nor do we. And don’t even bother asking the director.