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Movies Reviews

‘Valkyrie’ soars

Tom Cruise has played dreamy barman, hotshot secret agent man, loveable fighter pilot, teen underwear model, money-showing sports agent, cop-of-the-future, multiple kind-hearted lawyers, saviour of the universe, p*ssy-obsessed motivational speaker, self-righteous hitman, wannabe Samurai warrior, lisping girly vampire, and a racing driver called Cole Trickle.

But (with the possible exception of that disgusting bald guy who shook his ass through ‘Tropic Thunder’), he’s really only ever played Tom Cruise. ‘Valkyrie’ is little different. No German accent. No Oscar-baiting attempt at genuine transformation into a real-life historical figure. Just Tom Cruise in an eye patch and Nazi uniform. This is clearly no biopic with the accompanying attention to detail, or even the truth.

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Music Reviews

‘Day & Age’ comes in for the kill

The Killers are not from the Caribbean. Nor are they sadists. So what the hell are those steel drums doing on ‘I Can’t Stay’? A shuffling Calypso track that’s all pink cocktail umbrellas, palm fronds in the breeze, and the hangover from Barry Manilow’s ‘Copacabana’, it just takes the band’s new “anything goes” approach too far.

Sure, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of experimentation — elsewhere on their ’80s-obsessed third album, the Vegas quartet actually get away with ‘Careless Whisper’ saxophones and Howard Jones keyboard fills. But there’s real trouble when the song sounds best in an elevator or on call-waiting.

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Music Reviews

The Cure are living the ‘4:13 Dream’

Robert Smith was freaked out by turning 40. “So the fire is almost out and there’s nothing left to burn,” he lamented on the confessional ’39’, “I’ve run right out of thoughts and I’ve run right out of words.”

Ten years later, he’s still here. Unchanged are the bed-head approach to hairstyling, slashed-with-lipstick style of makeup application, and the music itself: upbeat pop songs, smouldering epics, and feedback-drenched psychedelic freakouts. What’s new though is the intensity; revitalised by guitarist Porl Thompson’s return, Smith and his band have forgotten their ’80s glory days are long gone.

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Music Reviews

U2 go back to the start

U2 go back to where it all began, with expanded reissues of their first three albums, ‘Boy’, ‘October’, and ‘War’, tracking their ascent from playing Dublin’s pubs to headlining Red Rocks Arena.

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Music Reviews

Seether return home as heroes

Seether are an LA-based band whose last two singles spent close on six months at the top of the US rock charts. Less than 10 years ago they were wannabes from Centurion who couldn’t even win a battle of the bands competition.

Frontman Shaun Morgan Welgemoed is keen to remind local audiences he hasn’t forgotten. From the South African flag (on stage and tattooed on his arm) to name-checking Barney Simon to playing alongside the childhood friend who taught him guitar, their Cape Town show is a wild celebration of their origins.

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Music Reviews

‘Hard Candy’ well past its sell-by date

Timbaland is a bit of a slut. Since relaunching Nelly Furtado’s career two years ago the producer has worked with everybody from Bjork to Duran Duran. A project with the Smurfs is probably in the offing, provided Papa Smurf can front the cash.

Now Madonna is the latest in the long line of clients that, in just the past two years, totals over 30. And therein lies one of the biggest problems with ‘Hard Candy’ – Madge is usually at the front of the queue when new music trends come along.

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Movies Reviews

‘Iron Man’ flying high

Casting Robert Downey Jr as a superhero might make about as much sense as having Paris Hilton do brain surgery or Jack Nicholson model lingerie. And yet it works – spectacularly.

‘Iron Man’ goes through all the comic book movie motions – huge budget, elaborate special effects, giant explosions, dastardly villain, rampant product placement – yet, largely thanks to its star, takes the formula stratospheric. As the title character he creates a real flesh and blood character we can root for, rather than some plastic action figure type who looks good on a poster.

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Movies Reviews

‘Michael Clayton’ works in the shadows

“I’m not a miracle worker, I’m a janitor.”

Michael Clayton is a “fixer” for a law firm. He helps Kenner, Bach & Ledeen’s most valued clients out of sticky situations – a hit and run here, a potentially damaging affair there – and he does it well, efficiently and inconspicuously skirting the law. But essentially the former prosecutor is cleaning up after people.

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Music Reviews

Elton John gets down to business

Elton John has a bit of a reputation for being, well, difficult. Once, when staying in a hotel in America, he phoned his management company in London and shouted: “It’s too f***ing windy here – can you do something about it?”

But onstage in Cape Town he’s an absolute gentleman, a consummate professional. Maybe too professional. He’s impeccably dressed, his stylish black coat complementing his red-tinted glasses. And impeccably punctual.

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Music Reviews

James Blunt calls ‘All The Lost Souls’

Poor James, he’s had a tough life. At the posh Harrow School he was called a rude word that rhymes with “Blunt”. After training at Sandhurst (the very same academy that would later welcome Princes Willy and Harry) he was sent to keep the peace in Kosovo – virtually single-handedly – as every press release is sure to remind us. And even when the singing soldier’s debut album ‘Back To Bedlam’ was bought by 11 million people (allowing him to buy a villa in Ibiza), he was derided and ridiculed by millions more.

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