Timbaland is a bit of a slut. Since relaunching Nelly Furtado’s career two years ago the producer has worked with everybody from Bjork to Duran Duran. A project with the Smurfs is probably in the offing, provided Papa Smurf can front the cash.
Now Madonna is the latest in the long line of clients that, in just the past two years, totals over 30. And therein lies one of the biggest problems with ‘Hard Candy’ – Madge is usually at the front of the queue when new music trends come along.
Casting Robert Downey Jr as a superhero might make about as much sense as having Paris Hilton do brain surgery or Jack Nicholson model lingerie. And yet it works – spectacularly.
‘Iron Man’ goes through all the comic book movie motions – huge budget, elaborate special effects, giant explosions, dastardly villain, rampant product placement – yet, largely thanks to its star, takes the formula stratospheric. As the title character he creates a real flesh and blood character we can root for, rather than some plastic action figure type who looks good on a poster.
“Just one beep. That’s all we need,” says Jaco from the front of the Land Cruiser. “Just one beep.”
Standing up, antenna in hand, he surveys the plains around us, hoping for a sign of Sibella. But there’s nothing – just a ground layer of grass and a scattering of trees and shrubs, stretching towards an amphitheatre of mountains.
I’m in Samara – over 28 000 hectares of private game reserve in the Great Karoo, just 55 kilometres from Graaff Reinet. Addo Elephant Park and its endless procession of tourist buses is an hour’s drive to the south, and yet they feel half a world away, surrounded as I am by such silence, such stark beauty.
With towering white pillars and long palm-lined driveway, the Mount Nelson isn’t all that easy to miss. It’s pink for goodness sake. And the soaring column of steel and glass that is the Arabella Sheraton is about as inconspicuous as Table Mountain.
So in comparison The Cape Grace is virtually invisible, a discreet four-storey building that whispers seductively rather than screams for attention as you head for the perennially popular V&A Waterfront.
Remember Postman Pat’s van? The red one with the gold Royal Mail logo on the side? The one with the black and white cat in the passenger seat? The one that bore a striking resemblance to the Morris Mini Traveller circa 1970? Yes?
Well, the latest MINI Clubman is nothing like it. Even though the new arrival is a natural progression of the classic Traveller, Austin Mini Countryman, and Mini Clubman Estate. And there’s certainly room in the back for a mailbag or two.
Forget pink — small is the new black. Compact cars are so fashionable today that even the Americans have been seduced by the smart fortwo. And with the South African petrol price racing towards the R10/litre mark faster than you can say “Bugatti Veyron”, it’s no surprise that tykes like Toyota’s Yaris continue to park near the top of the sales charts.
So what better time for Kia to spice up their little Picanto. Visually it’s always managed to escape the oversized-trolley look of its kissing cousin, the Hyundai Atos, but the face-lifted new arrival certainly looks a lot better than the model it’s replacing. Amazing what new tear-drop shaped headlights and restyled circular taillights can do. The front grille too has been restyled, the previous gaping mouth replaced with a more subtle, more stylish design.
“I’m not a miracle worker, I’m a janitor.”
Michael Clayton is a “fixer” for a law firm. He helps Kenner, Bach & Ledeen’s most valued clients out of sticky situations – a hit and run here, a potentially damaging affair there – and he does it well, efficiently and inconspicuously skirting the law. But essentially the former prosecutor is cleaning up after people.
Elton John has a bit of a reputation for being, well, difficult. Once, when staying in a hotel in America, he phoned his management company in London and shouted: “It’s too f***ing windy here – can you do something about it?”
But onstage in Cape Town he’s an absolute gentleman, a consummate professional. Maybe too professional. He’s impeccably dressed, his stylish black coat complementing his red-tinted glasses. And impeccably punctual.
“You should know that the lies won’t hide your flaws / No sense in hiding all of yours.” More than just lyrics to Seether’s swinging hit ‘Fake It’, the words reflect a way of life for the band’s frontman. That’s startlingly clear when I come face to face with Shaun Morgan Welgemoed. What you see is what you get. There’s nothing fake about him.
He doesn’t even bother to hide his vulnerability: “The bigger it gets the more I realise I wasn’t cut out for the fame part of it.”
There’s far more to Ireland than the Guinness factory, leprechauns and sheep. Like the breathtaking coastline with its tranquil villages and jagged cliffs. The stunning natural beauty, and even the way the lush green grass glistens after the rain. It’s not called the Emerald Isle for nothing.
Nils van der Linden